A Journey (Part 2)

2. I started noticing progress.

When I compare today to my lowest points of being depressed, the difference is stark. Back then I felt like the world was empty and that while I had every opportunity I could want, pursuing any of those opportunities would inevitably lead to boredom and more depression.

When I am sad nowadays there is a sting of depression in it, because it reminds me of all of the large amount of my life that I have spent sad or depressed. Since that is all I can remember, it becomes overrepresented in my mind, and it seems like I am sad much more of the time than I really am. This still happens whenever I get down for longer than a few hours, and I think, “why is life so hard?”

Even in those ruts, though, I can recognize the difference between now and years ago. I have tried, but cannot pinpoint when I was first able to recognize this, which makes me believe even more that not only was it a gradual process rather than an event, but also that recognizing it as such is an important part of the process itself.

Part 3